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Who is the main character of "Aladdin"?

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[quote="Syera"]To be honest with you, your writing style's rather clunky.

"To find me not in my usual attire."  Um... I'm sure there's a language out there in which this would be a very proper structure to use, but English ain't one of them.  Personally, I'd do it like this:

"I'm here, Siren!" I called to my knight as he walked into my room.  I noticed that he seemed surprised at the unusual attire I wore at the moment - an orange tunic, long red leggings, and a pair of hunting boots.

(But don't copy and paste that...)

T-shirts are a type of clothing from modern Earth.  I suggest using the word "tunic" instead.  Tunics can be pretty t-shirt-shaped.

The word "leggings" is pretty non-generic and gets it across straight away that the pants are tight.

"Hunting boots" in a fantasy setting should call to mind exactly the type of boots you're thinking of.  (And given the fantasy-like setting, what else would they be made of besides leather?)

So, my assessment is thus:
-You need to improve your style.  I suggest reading a few books by English authors and paying attention to the style in which they write.  Gulliver's Travels is good, but probably a bit beyond you right now; I recommend something by Roald Dahl if you can get your hands on it.  (J.K. Rowling has a pretty decent style, too - very similar to Dahl.  You could try to study that.)

-You need to improve your vocabulary and knowledge of period clothing and things.  (I'm guessing you wouldn't know the difference between a falchion and a broadsword.)  So, get studying...

http://www.swordsofhonor.com/clothing.html
http://www.by-the-sword.com/new/index.html[/quote]

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