| Nez |
 Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 5:19 pm Post subject: The Palace Guard Song |
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The Palace Guard Song
An Aladdin/Monty Python parody
Soft-spoken Announcer:
(spoken)
And now, from the Royal Agrabanian Theatre, I present to you Rasoul of the Palace Guards and his song, praising the virtues and joys of his occupation.
(piano vamps)
Rasoul:
(sung)
Oh, I’m palace guard and I’m okay, I guard all night and I guard all day!
Chorus (made up of Fazal, Hakim, and other random but very musically inclined guards): (sung)
He’s a palace guard and he’s okay, He guards all night and he guards all day.
Rasoul:
(sung)
I strike down thieves, I swing my axe,
I bow to the royal-teeeee.
On Saturdays, I go to luncheon
And eat hummus with my tea.
Guards:
(sung)
He strike down thieves, he swings his axe,
He bows to the royal-teeeee.
On Saturdays, he goes to luncheon
And eat hummus with his tea.
Chorus
Rasoul:
(sung)
I charge street rats, I crack my whip,
I like to wear black leather.
I make their buns glowin’ red
And make them ask “more please”.
Guards:
(sung)
He charges street rats, he cracks his whip,
He likes to wear black leather.
He makes their buns glowin’ red
And make them ask...“more please”?
Chorus
Rasoul:
(sung)
I heat my brand, I press it down,
I love it when they scream.
I wish I’d been a tomcat
Just like my dear Cassim.
Guards
(sung)
He heats his brand, he press it down,
He loves it when...they...scream?
(spoken, disgusted as they leave the stage)
What the? Wishes he was a tomcat?
He’s a pervert, that’s what he is!
Rasoul:
(sung)
...I wish I’d been a tomcat
Just like my dear Caaaaaasiiiiiiim!
(There is only stunned silence.)
Soft-spoken Announcer:
Uh, that has been Rasoul and his...interesting rendition of the “Palace Guard” song. Tune in next time when we see a man hit himself with two bricks...who the hell writes this stuff? That does it! I put in fifteen years of my life for this caravan to Nowhere! Well, they can announce their own crap for this hell-hole for all I care! I quit!
(Announcer leaves, shutting door very loudly)
Fin.
Disclaimer: I do not own “Aladdin” or Monty Python. I’m just a fan of both. |
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Rasoul sining a song is something they could have capitalized on. *hides Pete singing*