Aladdin Central Messageboard

Vampligea · Streetrat Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 8

I need ideas of where people go on vacations in the ancient middle east. Any ideas where I can send Aladdin and Jasmine for romance?

Meesh · Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:11 pm Post subject:

I don't know where people vacationed back then. However, the series used a bunch of fictional places, and that is what I would suggest for you! You can make your own city, your own oasis, your own magical place, whatever you would like to best fit your story. Smile

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TwistedMidnightDreams · Streetrat Joined: 11 Mar 2010 Posts: 8

Also they have a magic carpet AND Genie, so there really isn't anywhere they can't go. Excepting time travel, I think.

Meesh · Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 8:25 pm Post subject:

Unless Genie created a 21st century setting for them. Smile

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AladdinsGenie · Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:43 pm Post subject:

Places that are allies with Agrabah Laughing

I really think they'd go "anywhere", though.

Meesh · Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 8:03 am Post subject:

AG has a point. It doesn't hafta be in the Middle East.

In "A Whole New World" alone, they flew all over the world, most vividly in my mind through Greece and Egypt, and watched fireworks in China.
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Vampligea · Streetrat Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 8

I figured out where they are going! I have the first chapter up at Fanfiction.net....I am dying for it to be read and some one to tell me if I have kept them in character.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5882397/1/Book_of_Wonders[/url][/url]

Meesh · Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:57 pm Post subject:

While I am not a fan of mature Disney fanfiction, I will say that this is well-written with very good grammar and spelling! That on its own puts it ahead of a lot of other fanfiction lol. A lot of your imagery is very good; it's not too much, and it's not too little!

You did a decent job keeping them in character. It usually bothers me when writers over-schmultz the romantic relationship between Aladdin and Jasmine, but it seems more appropriate in your writing because it is the first night of their honeymoon.

There are a few things I didn't feel quite matched up with the characters. One is that, after 4 years of being together, I'm pretty darn sure they wouldn't wait until their honeymoon to talk about past relationships. Also, I can relate with Jasmine's fears about losing her virginity to Aladdin, but I think it may have been taken a little bit too far. After being with Aladdin for that long and Jasmine being the sexy and strong little thing she is, I don't think she would be as fearful as you made her. I feel she would be more eager than that. (Who wouldn't? Woohoo!!)

I didn't get the thing with Aladdin and the book either. What were you saying there?

But yeah, on the whole, very well-written! You certainly kept my attention, and I could relate with the way they felt! I wouldn't mind reading the rest of it (minus maybe the sex scene if there is one. I just find that awkward in Disney fanfiction... because it's Disney). Just maybe keep in mind my suggestions.
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Vampligea · Streetrat Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 8

I may have taken Jasmines fear a tad too far, I guess my own experiences shadowed her somewhat.

The book was supossed to be the Kama Sutra. it came from India and from my understanding it has been around for many generations. If you don't know what it is it's a sex manual and it's got something to do with waiting I think. I think I might need to research it some more.
I have some adventure in mind for them in the next few chapters.

Meesh · Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 11:55 pm Post subject:

I'm familiar with the Kama Sutra. It is best known for its description of several sexual positions. I didn't quite understand where you were going with it though.
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Vampligea · Streetrat Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 8

I had it in there so Aladdin would know what he was doing....what gets me in fanfic when you see a sex scene between two people that have never done anything like that before, and I like to think that Aladdin and Jasmine were saving themselves for each other for this very special night, they seem to know what they are doing and it just seems wrong. When you put two virgins together it's supposed to have an element of awkwardness, and sense I wasn't with a virgin my first time I don't know what that awkwardness would be like. So I wanted one of them to sort of know what they were doing and since Jasmine doesn't have a mother(to tell her about such things) I thought I would go with Aladdin being the one to know more. The Kama Sutra is so much more than just a book of positions and it has been around since before the 2nd century. I wanted something in the story too explain why he seemed to know what he was doing.

I am stuck however in the next chapter....I am unsure how to describe a chariot race and I don't feel I did it justice...I need to read more about them, but the things I find keep either going over my head, or it's beneath my reading level and too childish.

Vampligea · Streetrat Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 8

Silly me, I didn't finish my thought....when I see a sex scene and the two people involved have not had sex before there is this element that they know what they are doing, and seem to be doing that very well. I read one that just disgusted me. It was more like reading porn than something that was supposed to be beautiful. When I describe things like this I am careful to leave out certain words and try to be creative with descriptions. I don't want it to be something crude.

Meesh, I know you feel a mature fic between these characters seems awkward to you, but I'd love to get you opinion on the second ch.

Meesh · Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 11:36 am Post subject:

Your explanation makes perfect sense, and I agree.

Your second chapter was well-written and I'd say pretty accurate. And the lengths of each chapter are perfect. Not so long that I feel like I don't have the time to read it, but not a stub either. Just right. Smile

I really have to think to give you suggestions because your descriptions and grammar are both very good. If I were to suggest something, I would say to add some kind of clincher or more of a hint as to what lies ahead in the next chapter to keep people interested.

I will gladly keep reading. Smile

P.S. Would you rather I left these on fanfiction.net?
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Vampligea · Streetrat Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 8

Chapter 3 is up and I am not happy with it. I feel like I don't know where to take it, what villian should be involved...I feel like when I am reading it it feels like some one else wrote it...I don't know. Any suggestions? I would love a review on Fanfiction.net...may be it'll encourage more.

persian85033 · Posted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 12:28 pm Post subject:

I do think they would go anywhere. With Carpet and Genie, I mean, going anywhere shouldn't be a problem. I think Genie can time travel, though, can't he? Any fictional city, anywere. Except another planet. Laughing

Just finished reading the first ch. I don't think you took Jasmine's fears too far. I mean, after all, she is going to lose her virginity, and as you said, she has faced many things, but this is something completely different. Like a kiss and that is one thing, this, well, it's not just a kiss. So I do think you did that perfectly. And I do think it was good that this time Al does mention past relationships. I liked her reaction there.

The only thing I find rather odd is that Al says he only had one girlfriend, and, well, nothing. But that's just my opinion.

When you mentioned Al's dad, put me in mind, well, I always imagined Al's mom to be more...well, more modest? Not sure how to put it, and I think I'm gettin off topic.
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"I too am a member of your species, Captain, or I was. Perhaps I am not anymore. Perhaps you are right in thinking of me as an alien. I know I am different from you. You see-I do not kill."